The Power of Female Friendships
There is something special about female connection. As a woman, few things make me feel comfortable in an unfamiliar place like the presence of other females. When I first started my thru hike, the trail seemed to be oversaturated with men. The AT felt like it was nothing but ball sweat and beards. Everywhere I looked there were guys, and females felt few and far between.
I remember clinging desperately to the two women I started the trail with, Allee and Kayla, and being worried about finding other women to hike around should we spilt up. Towards the middle of my hike, I was one of two women in a tramily. As we neared Maine, I felt rising tension in the group and worried about what would happen if the other woman broke off from our tramily. She and her partner eventually hiked ahead, and I summited Katahdin along with four men with who I had traveled alone for the last 300ish miles.
Spending several weeks as the sole woman in the group made me really appreciate the women in my life. There is something unique and powerful about girls supporting girls. When I need advice or help to work through an obstacle in my life, I often turn to my circle of female friends. On my thru hike, I was less inspired by stories of men completing the trail, but was in awe of the power of endurance shown in female super athletes like Jennifer Pharr Davis and Heather Anderson. On trail, all hikers must walk the same miles. I felt much more encouraged knowing women had gone before me rather than thinking about men doing the same thing. If these other women could put their bodies through the stress and strain of walking nearly 2,200 miles, surely my body was also up for the challenge.
It was the confidence and self-assurance of my female friends that gave me the courage to start the AT. After being laid off from my dream job in fall 2020, I had few dreams and aspirations. My friends listened to my woes, and Allee and Kayla told me about their plans to thru hike the AT in 2021. The three of us had gone backpacking before, but hearing them discuss walking from Georgia to Maine shook me from the fog of unemployment. They knew they were going to finish the trail, and their eagerness for trail life spilled into me. I wanted to join them on this grand adventure, and I again told myself that if they could do it then so could I.
I am proud to say that Allee, Kayla, and I all started at Springer Mountain together. Ranger, Bug Bite, and Magic all finished at Katahdin on different days, but united in our shared experiences and deepened friendship.
Do Something that Scares You
Climbing up Katahdin, I couldn’t help but think back several years to my first backpacking trip. I was full of doubt and well outside of the bounds of my comfort zone. I was a junior in college and had been working at my university’s Adventure Leadership Program in the student rec center for a semester. I applied for this job on a whim and was shocked when they asked me to interview. I had NO experience rock climbing, camping, kayaking, or any of the outdoor recreation activities the program centered around. Somehow I got hired, and several months later I was roped into helping lead a women’s backpacking trip in the Grayson Highlands in VA.
Prior to this trip, I had only ever gone on day hikes. Growing up in the mountains of WNC you’d think I spent most of my free time outside exploring the expansive trail networks or playing in waterfalls, but as a teenager, I was not at all interested in doing anything remotely uncomfortable outdoors. It wasn’t until I moved to the eastern part of the state for college that I discovered how much I loved the mountains. Every time I visited home I went on a hike, and it was this budding interest in the outdoors that lead me to agree to lead the women’s backpacking trip.
My first backpacking experience stretched me in ways I didn’t think possible. Before our shakedown on campus I had never worn a 60L pack and hardly knew how to pitch a tent. The trip participants were not in much better shape than me, but thankfully there were two older co-guides that had more backcountry experience and helped us fine tune our gear. Once we arrived in VA and hit the trail, I learned that most of these women also felt very out of place and had signed up for the trip in order to grow their confidence. I had met most of these ladies on the van ride to Grayson Highlands, and by the end of the weekend, I felt like I was walking away from the trip having gained new friends.
Being in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people can be a shock to the system. Asking your body to walk for hours on end is often an uncomfortable shock as well. This discomfort, both physically and mentally, helps to open people up to the possibilities of vulnerability. I feel as though women are naturally more likely to let other’s in, and I have found that spending time together in nature, even with strangers, helps to level the playing field and make it easier for connection.
Being with other women on this backpacking trip to Grayson Highlands helped foster new and unlikely friendships. As a college student, how likely was I to strike up a conversation with a stranger as I walked to class? But on the trail, I had nothing else to do but spend time getting to know the women that walked in front of and behind me.
When someone is living simply and each day is focused on tasks for survival, walls that typically exist come down. People are so much more willing to be vulnerable and honest with one another rather than hiding behind the comforts of everyday life. This level of connection creates space for relationships like no other to form. People realize things they have in common that may have otherwise gone unnoticed or are willing to listen to a differing opinion when they normally would tune the objections out. Spending time in the woods can be a therapeutic experience for anyone.
Run the World (Girls)
I took the lessons learned from my trip to Grayson Highlands with me, but it would be years later until I ventured into the woods for more than a day trip. After graduating college I moved back to my hometown and worked part time at a zipline. It was here that I first met Allee and Kayla, along with multiple other women who weren't afraid to get down and dirty in the backcountry. I thought these “outdoorsy” women were badass, and I wanted to be as carefree and confident as they seemed. Several of these women were planning a hike the Art Lobe trail in WNC, and I jumped at an opportunity to join them.
The Art Lobe is 30 miles long and was the most challenging terrain I had hiked up until that point in my life. I was worried about my ability to keep up with the other women in my group, and nervous about spending 3 uninterrupted days with women I didn’t know very well. Although we were coworkers, I hadn’t spent much time with any of these women outside of the zipline. I thought they were all so cool, and I wanted them to like me and admire me as well.
Just like on my previous all female backpacking trip, walls quickly came down and lifelong friendships were formed. Mutual hardship is a connecting force like no other, and the miles on the Art Lobe were hard earned. When I felt myself struggling to continue going uphill, Rebecca helped by encouraging me. When I couldn’t figure out how to operate the bear cables, Allee showed me. Shannon helped me filter water, and Kayla introduced me to a bear can. These women taught me backcountry skills that I still remember to this day, and all of our friendships remain in tack.
My life post thru hike looks very similar to my life before hitting the AT. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about trail. Maybe it’s because my journey is still so fresh, or because I am dating someone I met on trail. Either way, I think about my thru hike often but feel disconnected from the person I was during my hike. Spending time with others thru hikers has been a gift, and trail is a connecting force that binds me to others. It’s one thing to bond with someone over a shared hobby, it’s another thing to bond over a shared lifestyle.
Let's Go, Girls
I ended my AT thru hike with men. Truffles, Hangman, Gooey, and Pimento share some of my most special trail memories. There is a commonality, though, that I feel between other female thru hikers. Specifically, I have met other female thru hikers through social media. We likely would have struck up a friendship without this shared experience, but again the trail provides people with this connection that is so unlike any other experience in life.
Humans are not meant to do life alone. We have a herd mentality by nature, and I have been fortunate enough to build a community around people who also love the outdoors. Seeking out women with this shared passion has paved the way for lifelong friendships and adventure partners. Cheering each other on, pushing each other to pursue our dreams, and offering a hand to hold during difficult times are just a few of the ways these women have improved my life. I am so thankful for all the friends and chosen family I have, but I am a little extra thankful for the ladies.